Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Today is the first day of Spring and the last quarter of 2010 here in Australia. Thinking back the last 3 quarters of this year, I feel there is a need for me to reflect on my personal ideal vision and goals. I was given 'a nudge' to participate in a 30 DAY CHALLENGE in September to a better and richer life, which is part of my experience of the ongoing process of transformation and growth in all areas of my life.
“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~ Steve Jobs
For the month of September, I've taken upon myself a 30 day Challenge, inspired by both @LivingLifeNow where I did a 42 Day Challenge and Beyond back in 2007 & @30DLBL where readers are encouraged to live their best life.
Each day of September, I am going to give myself a task and an action point to do in order to achieve the goals I set for myself.
On this first day of September, the task I have given myself to do is to share the 30 day challenge on this blog (which I've just done hehe). I'd appreciate your encouragement and support in my endeavours to build a better & richer life.
I would like to add that to me, being rich isn't just about money. Being rich is a state of mind, which includes rich in spirit, rich in relationships (family, friends, romance & love), rich life experiences, rich mindset supported by financial literacy and total wellbeing, including health & fitness, business & career, recreation & fun, contribution, and personal growth. I will go through these in the next 30 days.....so stay tuned, and come back often!! :)
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I stumbled upon the following article by Keidi Won a few times this week. And when I see things more than once, I generally pay more attention. This is a great reminder to all of us who are or will be in a relationship and marriage. It contains nuggets of wisdom and inspiration.
AND IT GAVE ME A RENEWED SENSE OF COMMITMENT TO MY HUBBY!!!
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'
In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.'
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.
Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.
'God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away, who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.'